Whatever you call it, you need it. You may not even know you need it until you find it and then you are like me and asking “How did I ever make it without it?” The answer is, I didn’t! Now I am not talking about your immediate family, mom, sister, aunts, mom in laws etc. For me, they are awesome source of my power too and Lord knows they have all seen me at my WORST (several times over). I am talking about people who you build around you who surround you in your journey. I was struggling big time with juggling work: trying to climb the ladder not only for the feeling of success and being “worth it” ,which I could make a whole other blog about, but also to get out of debt and to become financially free one day in the future, and provide everything for my kids, not only the things I had, but even more! I was struggling with being a new mom, then a mom with 2 kids, and now a mom raising 2 very handsome big boys and being responsible for training them and equipping with the tools that they will need to become successful, responsible, young men who can learn and grow and then teach their children to respect and prosper in this world. I was struggling with finding my way as a wife and lover to my husband while trying to be devoted to him and being torn between him and my children at times. My heart was growing so big sometimes with each leap it felt like it was literally going to burst sometimes. We were learning to grow into a family together and be financially successful together. There were so many hard times that it was more of a “go through it and hope God brings you to the other side of the chaos” kind of time. I don’t know about anyone that reads this but as for me, that led to judging and criticizing. It also led to a lot of envy for a lot of people who looked like they had it all together and were “KILLIN’ IT!” 100% of the time. That led me into a spiral for a few years of thinking that I wasn’t “good enough” or I wasn’t a “great mom” or “successful career woman” or “good wife” or any of those terms that you can think of that fit those descriptions! All those thoughts led to more of those type of negative thoughts and I didn’t know that at the time but my mindset was shifting to be doubtful and fearful and actually cause my outer world to be in chaos and disarray because how could it be anything else if that was all I was thinking about? In the same way as my heart was growing it was also becoming more and more fearful of the loss that it someday might lead to. The negative and SO distracting ‘what if’s” can be so interrupting that it halts any positives to come into your life! But not only 4 months ago I found a tribe of women who fails often and messes up and needs help and leans on each other for support. It has led to so many open doors and more tribes that show even more women not knowing what the HELL they are doing in all this. I used to want to be successful “on my own” and “not take handouts” and now I see that the ONLY way you can be successful is if you have that tribe of women who you can count on no matter what to hold you accountable and dust you off when you fail but gives you the strength to get back up because in a few moments YOU HAVE TO BE BACK UP to help HER now and lift her up too! It’s only when you have the people in your life who see you at your worst that can see you shine when you reach the top! I encourage every single woman who sees this to go find women to add to your tribe. You can do that with many ways and the EASIEST way now is to find or start a Facebook Group with people who have similar goals. If no one in your personal life right now has the same goals , FIND SOMEONE WHO DOES! Don’t worry search it! You can have as many groups as you want and all different interests and areas you want to focus in on your life whether it is business, pleasure, moms, single powerhouses, entrepreneurs, faith, literally anything you have going on in your life and want to see what other people are doing about it. Keep it positive, and keep going in the direction you feel like you are getting happier, don’t settle for the first group because through my adventure, I have said yes to a BUNCH of groups, some that wasn’t my style and I backed away from but other that I have totally become immersed in because I am right where they are in there life too! All because I have added many women and people to my tribe that I can now confidently say:
I AM A CRAZY CHAOTIC WIFE AND MOM WHO COMPLETELY FAILS SUCCESSFULLY! I AM GROWING AND LEARNING IN EVERYTHING I DO AND COULD NOT THINK ABOUT HAVING IT ALL TOGETHER BECAUSE I LOVE THE GROWTH! I AM MESSY, UNORGANIZED, DETERMINED, AND IMPATIENT BUT I LOVE THE JOURNEY AND AM GROWING EVERYDAY. I AM UNAPOLOGETIC IN MY CHOICE TO WANT IT ALL AND KEEP ON GOING BECAUSE I KNOW MY TRIBE IS OUT THERE WITH THE EXACT SAME MINDSET!
I would love for you to comment about who you are! If you have the same messy and chaotic life come join my tribe of women on Facebook and powwow so we can do GREAT things together!